Soothe the Savage Beast


Clean, clear, and simple
The struggle and longing fall away
As the music fills me
It is enough for now
To just flow with this note
To taste the blend of sound and silence
A gasp of sweet air
Stolen in the moment
My head rises above
The sea
Endless waves ahead
But this particular flavor
This glimpse of peace
Is mine now

The Artist's Way & True Release

Kauai Sunset, Nov 2007 ZL

A group of people at work had a gift exchange over the holidays with a book theme. As such things go, I got a great book, somebody stole it; stole a book on digital photography from somebody else, it was stolen; picked a jewel of book called 1000 places to see before you die and yes, you guessed it that was stolen too. Not to be discouraged, I told the rotten dirty thief that really, he just provided me another opportunity of discovery and in the end of thievery because as I walked over to an unsuspecting person, pie in mouth, I sweetly said, may I please have your book, The Artist's Way? As I pried it from their white knuckle grip, I wry smile painted my face as began to see the hidden meaning in all of this. The life lesson of letting go, of riding the ups and downs of excitement and disappointment, of the pain of wanting to hold on and fear of losing and the unexpected joy of discovering that what I ended up with was perfect and couldn't have happened if any of the other things leading up to it hadn't happened.
I'm excited to explore this book, The Artist's Way: A spiritual path to higher creativity. I've written my first "daily pages" which is about connecting to my inner creative child. I do belive that I have been a shadow artist who desires to come into the light more fully. Feels like a risk, but today I don't care. This morning I wrote about wierd ass dreams, wishing I lived in a warmer climate, feeling the urgency of connecting with family memebers I cherrish, and finally wrote a short message to my biological father, Frank, who is currently in a really bad way (drinking-drugging and basically making really bad decisions.)
Dear Frank,
I'm sorry to hear of your struggles of late. I want to tell you that I love you. I've realized that I'm not here to judge you or fix you or save you. I'm here to unconditionally love you and myself. By love you I mean I will pray for you, hope for you and encourage you to make decisions that bring you happiness. That is my wish for you. By loving myself I mean I will never close my heart to you because you are a peice of me. I will at times keep you at a distance to safegaurd my sanity, but will do so from a place of love and compassion for both of us. With love I realease you into the grace and love of all there is. Love Zoey

where'd everybody go..????

no pictures this time ... just want to keep this going somehow, and find a way to get more real and deeper in an electronic format... i'm tired after a long work week and being out 4 nights in a row, and can't even imagine coming home to work with clients - that was my plan, to start a very part time, couple nights a week practice... i haven't done much of anything to make that happen, and it scares me just a bit... i don't want to lose what skills i was developing... but don't want to give up what i'm doing now either... i really like my life... the work i get paid for, the volunteer and fun stuff i do, time with friends and family, and most of all, time with my spouse/partner/lover/friend.... neither of us are in grad school for the first time since we met, and we are good together... the last year of kent's grad school (msw) was pretty tough... he's a dedicated student and we were both pretty stressed by the time he finished.. but he did, and is 6 months into his new job as a hospice social worker and they love him ... life is good, so why do i have to find something to make myself feel bad about myself for? i've also gained weight - which i hate - but have lost 12 pounds since december 1 and am determined to get my own strong lean body back and feel like an idiot for letting myself gain what i worked so hard to lose once already... that sounds backwards doesn't it?? ok... tired and rambling now but this feels like the way i journal...so before i chicken out i'm going to publish....

Welcome to the view from our front window - I love to watch the trees on this street as the seasons change - bare and dusted with snow in winter, the first impossibly hopeful green of spring, a leafy tunnel in summer, and mother nature's palette in the fall. (Note also the large landscape rocks which will stop any truck! ;-)... you may remember our 'crash' experience of 3 years ago...)

Anyway... we're having a bonfire in the back yard tonight, inviting neighbors and friends for hot spiced wine and smores - wish each of you could be with us too...
Happy holidays to all - may your days be merry and bright, and may your Christmas be filled with a sense of peace and hope for our beautiful world.

Love

Marie

Happy Solstice

The snow started falling yesterday and I woke up to this scene out my front door. Snow caves, sledding, warm fires, and hot chocolate are in order. Wanna come over?

Snowy Night by Mary Oliver

Snow was falling,
so much like stars
filling the dark trees
that one could easily imagine
its reason for being was nothing more
than prettiness.

I suppose
if this were someone else’s story
they would have insisted on knowing
whatever is knowable – would have hurried
over the fields
to name it – the owl, I mean.

But it’s mine, this poem of the night,
and I just stood there, listening and holding out
my hands to the soft glitter
falling through the air.

I love this world,
but not for its answers.
And I wish good luck to the owl,
whatever its name –
and I wish great welcome to the snow,
whatever its severe and comfortless
and beautiful meaning.

Welcoming the light,
Staci

Ocean and Sky Become One

Swimming into the warm ocean of your thoughts, brings me a cozy sensation of familiarity and contentment. I'm also excited to see images of your lives and what moves you, my favorite people. The image here is from a helicopter ride obove Kauai. Had a wonderful time. Sad I missed the LIOS trip to HI, but looking forward to next years opportunity. Love to ya'll.

Aloha, I thought I'd share a picture of the seawall in front of my shop. We had this amazing storm last week. The waves were reaching across the road...then came the THUNDER, LIGHTNING AND TORENTIAL RAINS>>>EEEEEEEKKKKK!!

Collaboration With Nature

I don't know if any of you have ever heard of Andy Goldsworthy. I hadn't until just this morning. He is a "British sculptor, photographer and environmentalist living in Scotland who produces site-specific sculpture and land art situated in natural and urban settings. His art involves the use of natural and found objects to create both temporary and permanent sculptures which draw out the character of their environment." (per Wikipedia)

I had seen his work, or not exactly his work, but the creations that my brother-in-law had done in the past, inspired by his work. Beautiful art. The video above is a 5 minute demonstration of some of the things he has done.

Most of anything, what calls me at this time, is the impermanence of some of his pieces, which disappear as soon as the tide engulfs them or the wind blows them away. This has a lot to do with the book on Buddhism that I am reading right now. I am trying to understand some of it's basic concepts, since I realize I know nothing about real Buddhism other than rumors, new age factoids, and other random stuff. And for some reason, it's calling me right now.

I realize that there is so much personal work and change that I need to do. And a lot (if not all) involves getting a grip on my thoughts and my attitudes toward things that happen to me and around me. How I react to things when I don't get what I want, or how I deal with life when things are not the way I think they really "should" be... is something I'm not particularly proud of, most of the time.

Just sharing my ramblings :)

Trip to Anchorage

I caught some beautiful sunrises in Anchorage this week. Since the sun rises to late, it's not a hard thing to do. In fact it seems like either it's a sunset or a sunrise whatever is going on in the sky at any given moment throughout the day.

We went shopping and oh, how I'm starting to dread shopping. I've never been much of a shopper, really, but living in the bush makes shopping such an ordeal that you can't but hate it with passion after a few experiences. "Guerrilla shopping" they call it, apparently. And it's really what it is.

It has it's positive side also, of course. I get to see people walking around, eat in a restaurant, get a Chai anywhere, drive a car... basically, do things that I don't get to do on a regular basis anymore. Things that I used to take for granted, and that nowadays seems like luxuries. It's funny to look at life from such different perspectives at once.

warm from the inside out

Ohhhhh.....how fun this is. I am excited to be a part of it as you all feel so much closer.

Here is a pic from my house....inside that is. A snowy Tumalo creek from my kitchen window. This time last week I was in my bathing suit, drinking margaritas on a quiet beach in Mexico!

Thanks for your inspiration!

staci

uhm...my first blog

What a beautiful blog site.

All of your pictures are so inspiring. Thank you for sharing. I would love to share if only my satellite would upload without timing out....28-56K....yikes.

While trying to organize my office earlier, I came accross a CD and loaded in my pc. What a pleasant surprise to see if was of our class. I couldn't help but smile and even shed a few tears. (the cry baby club still is here).

I realized in those two plus years since our class, how much I have moved from the original intent and moved into more different spaces. The irony is; professionally, I am known as a "change agent" (word du jour)....and yet change personally, I still find resistance in. So I sit in my change, I look at it, smell it, try it on, if it fits, I wear it. And I look at others changes who did not have that luxury of time for their change through moving, babies, disease, and more...am curious on your feelings of change and having or not having time for change?

Pondering change and the need/desire/want/ of it.

most humbly in my first blog....ugh!
dee

Keep those snowy pictures coming

Miriam, just wanted to say that I love the wintry photos. So beautiful.

I'm excitedly anticipating a bit of snow here tomorrow, to be melted, no doubt, by the following day. But I'll enjoy the white stuff tomorrow -- I'll make a fire, continue reading Little Women (a semi-annual event I do this time of year), and enjoy having survived a very long week.

Anyway, thanks for making the blog so pretty.

A change is needed

Ok, so I hung up this LIOS title like I would throw a wet cloth on the clothes line. I don't have a dryer any more so it is clothes line for me! I was hoping it would dry soon and we could take it down and replace it with another one. A fancier one, a funnier one, a deeper one, a more personal one... whatever, just something different.

So now the title is more than dry. In fact, it's frozen-dry! Check out the snow on the clothes pin! We need a new title!! It's urgent!!

Some ideas I can come up with are... hmmmmmmmm... hmmmmmmm... none!!!!!

I will post anything I think of in a comment following this post. I'm asking you to do the same. Let's see what we can come up with, do a little brainstorming, and then decide, ok?

Thanks ladies!!

Entrance

Whoever you are: in the evening step out

of your room, where you know everything;

yours is the last house before the far-off:

whoever you are.

With your eyes, which in their weariness

barely free themselves from the worn-out threshold,

you lift very slowly one black tree

and place it against the sky: slender, alone.

And you have made the world. And it is huge

and like a word which grows ripe in silence.

And as your will seizes on its meaning,

tenderly your eyes let go. . . .

~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~

Thought you might be interested in this site for a poetry/photo subscription:

www.panhala.net/Archive/Index.html

The above was today's offering.

(I loved the photo and am so brain dead at the moment that the poem almost just a jumble of words right now, but I think the weariness and heaviness and then the letting go images really spoke to me. I just wanted to pass it on to you with a wish:

May you all have restful sleep and joyful days.)

losing my blogging virginity too

Thanks for the invite to join up - there's a much greater chance I'll participate this way than with pen and paper - and how lovely that you have kept the journals in circulation. ;-)

Here's a peek into my world -canoeing on the Spokane River a few weeks ago on a warm fall day - our geese friends were as curious about us as we about them.

And here's October color at a local park when we met up with the local mushroom club to do my kind of hunting....

and the results of our "hunt" - Yum!

Thanksgiving held much to be thankful for - as does my life. Hugs to you all...

Marie

Naím

I have so much to be thankful for

This little guy is at the top of the list

life on the island

montana thanks giving

I'm off to Montana to visit my daughter for T-giving. She is learning to be a horse trainer. I'm looking forward to the adventure. I'm liking this bloging thing, perhaps there is an element of diversion/procrastination, but also I appreciate, as Lynne said the “ …tendrils of connection”
love

Ice and frozen rivers

My solitary trip yesterday to the Post Office ended up being a lovely experience, despite the chill factor that turned those -4F to a crazy -50 something degrees. The sun, the blue sky, and the amazing amount of light thanks to the reflection of the snow made my day. I love this winter combination of sun and snow. It sure beats the hell out of the gloomy skies and rain tht I'm accostumed to.

I took my camera with me and I found out that the river had completely stopped. Ice was jammed up all over the surface and there were open waters here and there. Quiet waters, trapped among the ice, calmly surrendering to the inevitable transformation that lies ahead.

Ice is absolutely fascinating. It takes the most amazing shapes. The small and apparently unimportant things sometimes hide a beauty that is only revealed to those who take the time to stop and look.

the red team

Well, we're not as cute as Naim but we do know how to have fun - and this really is how mark smiles.

full moon over tahlequah

Hi--Such a dark day in Shoreline today, this brave orchid in my kitchen window is still blooming and is a welcome spot of color!

I cleaned up my email a bit and filed an interesting article about mindset and how it (and not necessarily our skills/knowledge and plans) will be the most likely predictor of achieving one's goals. Hmm...that thought is just sticking with me at the moment. Makes me want to look at the stuck places in my life and see what it is I REALLY believe I can have.

I'm not sure what I think about a blog yet but I like the idea of the tendrils of connection reaching thru the miles to give us glimpes into each other's lives and thoughts. I still haven't written in the Pink Journal yet, I don't know what's up with that.

I'm intrigued by the sending music thing, will that really work?! Cool!

Confession: I recently saw Music and Lyrics again and have been listening to the soundtrack. Sometimes sweet and sappy just makes me feel happy!

Hey, so do I sign this or what?

Lynne

On thermometers and Eleanor Roosevelt

Today I woke up to this outside my window. A whoopin' -4F! I'm scared to go out, and I will do so, just to start getting over the fear of cold temperatures. Just like Eleanor Roosevelt said, "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... do the thing you think you cannot do." I should add that aside from gaining strength, courage, and confidence, I also gain resistance to cold weather in this particular case.

So, I'm getting my gear together and going to the post office to send the journal along, in case we also want to continue with that :) Wish me luck!

low tech blogger

Hi,
I'm losing my blog vergininty in this moment, feeling un sophisticated, having no idea how you post music or pictures, but appreciate your's M. Dang it looks v. damn cold in your neck of the woods!
I need to unwind from 8 hrs of m.h. agency tension. love to y'all.
c

Welcome

boomp3.com

It's 10:15am on a cold Thursday morning here in Aniak, Alaska. The sun is barely starting to come up right now and we are at a chilling 10 degrees Farenheit. Weather has turned into somewhat of an obsession for me lately. The first thing I do every morning is look out the window and check the outdoor thermometer. Believe me when I say that some days is not easy to gather up the courage go outside, get on the 4-wheeler and face the elements...

I am hoping that this blog will work as a sharing platform for all of us. I would love to see it take off and have the chance to read about what is going on in your lives and in your minds, maybe even see some of your favorite pictures or videos, and listen to some of the music you're into these days... Looking forward to it!