no pictures this time ... just want to keep this going somehow, and find a way to get more real and deeper in an electronic format... i'm tired after a long work week and being out 4 nights in a row, and can't even imagine coming home to work with clients - that was my plan, to start a very part time, couple nights a week practice... i haven't done much of anything to make that happen, and it scares me just a bit... i don't want to lose what skills i was developing... but don't want to give up what i'm doing now either... i really like my life... the work i get paid for, the volunteer and fun stuff i do, time with friends and family, and most of all, time with my spouse/partner/lover/friend.... neither of us are in grad school for the first time since we met, and we are good together... the last year of kent's grad school (msw) was pretty tough... he's a dedicated student and we were both pretty stressed by the time he finished.. but he did, and is 6 months into his new job as a hospice social worker and they love him ... life is good, so why do i have to find something to make myself feel bad about myself for? i've also gained weight - which i hate - but have lost 12 pounds since december 1 and am determined to get my own strong lean body back and feel like an idiot for letting myself gain what i worked so hard to lose once already... that sounds backwards doesn't it?? ok... tired and rambling now but this feels like the way i journal...so before i chicken out i'm going to publish....
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Hi Marie:
Thanks for taking time to post here. I was wondering the same thing about where did everyone go :) I've been having off and on connection to the internet lately, since I'm traveling, and was waiting to post to be back in Alaska next week. But I wanted to say hi to you and let you know that even if I'm far away now (actually as far as Cairo), I'm still peeking from the distance.
I hope we get back to interacting more often through this blog.
Love,
Miriam
Hello my fellow blogettes! (dontcha love it).
I have been away from the site too long. We went to Hawaii for the holidays. Very nice, however it rained the entire time. I can't complain, it was still 75 degrees!
I think I am in the winter hibernation mode. Staying home, trying to keep warm (the heat pump went out today) and trying to get some organization/planning together for this year. I feel very fragmented and easily distracted.
What is weighing heavy is my lack of desire/enthusiasm/passion for completing that frigging thesis. I spoke to Julia Sondej today and it really has come down to "get it done or walk away". Am trying to reach inside and find some energy to do it. Ugh....now this thing I could whine about for days upon daze!!!
My gig with Fluke Corp is ending next week. I feel that I accomplished something there....the intent was different when I started in August, however it tooks some turns and great learnings to bring it to a close.
Now comes the transitional void....I have been through a whole bunch of "hurry up and get us a proposal", then I wait. As you all know me pretty well, patience has never been one of my strongest points.
Diet has been another thing I need to work on. I was doing so well last year at this time. Then I had to go on insulin to control my diabetes. What sucks....the more insulin you take....the hungrier you get. I feel like I have eaten a gigantic tapeworm. My "tummy full" signal does not even kick in. And I gained back the 20 lbs I lost and an additional 15! So the moral to this blog...keep on track...! Actually, typing away on the PC here somewhat clears a few of the cobwebs!
Much love to all~
dee
Hi Marie,
I know what you mean about wanting to keep the skills sharp and yet not sure how to balance that want with the other part of my life that's pretty darn good. I also love working at F&C as training manager but it takes a good 40-50hrs/wk which leaves me prescious little time to imagine adding more to the mix. But, I've decided to just put to the universe that I set the intention to bring to me the expereince of abundance and deep satisfaction in my life (life's doings and feelings) and am open to whatever form that takes. I've just started "The Artist's Way" a spiritual guide to higher creativity. Looks like fun and I can't wait to find out how creative I can be to manifest my intentions of bring joy and health to myself and the world.
Much love, Zoey
Hi Marie,
So glad you published and didn't chicken out. I appreciated hearing your story, the joys and the struggles. I've been on my own meandering path toward work that feels more in alignment with my values, and will say more about this in another post or comment. Right now I'm at the job that pays the bills...though I'm finding that even here those pesky leadership skills come in handy, even as scary as it is to carve out space (internal and external) to speak my truth. (Why does eating copious amounts of chocolate always seems to accompany these acts of bravery? I hear you -- all of you -- on the weight struggles.) So...I'm itching to write a longer response, and will save that pleasure for when I'm home again.
Love,
H.
Post a Comment