Kauai Sunset, Nov 2007 ZL
A group of people at work had a gift exchange over the holidays with a book theme. As such things go, I got a great book, somebody stole it; stole a book on digital photography from somebody else, it was stolen; picked a jewel of book called 1000 places to see before you die and yes, you guessed it that was stolen too. Not to be discouraged, I told the rotten dirty thief that really, he just provided me another opportunity of discovery and in the end of thievery because as I walked over to an unsuspecting person, pie in mouth, I sweetly said, may I please have your book, The Artist's Way? As I pried it from their white knuckle grip, I wry smile painted my face as began to see the hidden meaning in all of this. The life lesson of letting go, of riding the ups and downs of excitement and disappointment, of the pain of wanting to hold on and fear of losing and the unexpected joy of discovering that what I ended up with was perfect and couldn't have happened if any of the other things leading up to it hadn't happened.
I'm excited to explore this book, The Artist's Way: A spiritual path to higher creativity. I've written my first "daily pages" which is about connecting to my inner creative child. I do belive that I have been a shadow artist who desires to come into the light more fully. Feels like a risk, but today I don't care. This morning I wrote about wierd ass dreams, wishing I lived in a warmer climate, feeling the urgency of connecting with family memebers I cherrish, and finally wrote a short message to my biological father, Frank, who is currently in a really bad way (drinking-drugging and basically making really bad decisions.)
Dear Frank,
I'm sorry to hear of your struggles of late. I want to tell you that I love you. I've realized that I'm not here to judge you or fix you or save you. I'm here to unconditionally love you and myself. By love you I mean I will pray for you, hope for you and encourage you to make decisions that bring you happiness. That is my wish for you. By loving myself I mean I will never close my heart to you because you are a peice of me. I will at times keep you at a distance to safegaurd my sanity, but will do so from a place of love and compassion for both of us. With love I realease you into the grace and love of all there is. Love Zoey
I'm excited to explore this book, The Artist's Way: A spiritual path to higher creativity. I've written my first "daily pages" which is about connecting to my inner creative child. I do belive that I have been a shadow artist who desires to come into the light more fully. Feels like a risk, but today I don't care. This morning I wrote about wierd ass dreams, wishing I lived in a warmer climate, feeling the urgency of connecting with family memebers I cherrish, and finally wrote a short message to my biological father, Frank, who is currently in a really bad way (drinking-drugging and basically making really bad decisions.)
Dear Frank,
I'm sorry to hear of your struggles of late. I want to tell you that I love you. I've realized that I'm not here to judge you or fix you or save you. I'm here to unconditionally love you and myself. By love you I mean I will pray for you, hope for you and encourage you to make decisions that bring you happiness. That is my wish for you. By loving myself I mean I will never close my heart to you because you are a peice of me. I will at times keep you at a distance to safegaurd my sanity, but will do so from a place of love and compassion for both of us. With love I realease you into the grace and love of all there is. Love Zoey
7 comments:
Thank you so much for sharing Zoey. That book has been on my library shelf for way too long collecting dust. I resolved to pick it up and run with it. Thanks for the inspiration....yesterday, today, and for the times to come. : )
staci
beautiful letter to your dad Z. thanks. love C.
Dear Zoey: You are so inspiring and beautiful :) I am thankful to have shared with you as I have...
Just as Staci, I have also had this book on my shelf for way too long. I tried to go through the book once or twice and dropped it before I got to chapter 3. Something about those morning pages wasn't working for me.
I think it may be the moment to give it a third try. Maybe this time it will flow better. I will have get really creative since there is no offer of activities that I can do on my own out here. I will have to make them up. I'd love to hear how your process goes.
And thanks for sharing your letter to your dad. So beautiful, so grounded... sooo differentiated :)
I love you, beautiful woman.
Miriam
By the way, amazing shot!
You're such a great photographer.
Truly an artist :)
I can't wait to see what new heights you can reach after going through the book.
whew!
Your letter to your dad helps me this morning, I have been struggling with a flurry of feelings about a friend's choices. I mostly sit in dismay at how much I am attached to what his recovery from cocaine addiction should look like. The truth is that there may be no recovery. Maybe just his life going along with roller coaster ups and downs, like mine, but at a Disneyland not quite like mine. And I guess I don't get to know the theme park rules at the places I don't play at.
So thank you Zoey. I'll safeguard my sanity and keep my heart open.
And stay curious.
Zoey,
As I read your blog and the letter to your dad I heard your voice in my head as clear as day and the amazing compassion that, in my experience of you, rings true in its tone. Thank you for sharing.
It comes at a good time for me as I received a "forward" from my Bio dad a day ago. I was a little miffed as this is the first "note" from him in about two years....and it was a forward to a dozen other people with nothing personal. I will hold my thoughts lightly now that I have read your letter.
As for the Artists Way, I too have had that book for about 10 years and like Miriam haven't gotten more than a couple chapters. It is in storage with my other belongings and like the other stuff has been there toooooo long! Time to do something about it I guess. Love to you and so sorry i missed you while I was in Seattle last week. I'm warm now at least...at home!
Melissa
I loved The Artist's Way. Loved it! Still love it. I still take myself on artist dates whenever I can, whenever I remember to. Morning pages are the best! And yeah, I think everyone has to find their own way of making it work. My sister finally had to give herself permission to type the morning pages, even though Julia Cameron (the author) says that you absolutely MUST handwrite the pages.
Whatev. I say, find what works for you.
The book can be a little daunting, though. I think the only way I was able to work through it all was with a friend. We would work it on our own, a week at at time, and then check in with one another over coffee -- to laugh, cry, kvetch, celebrate. When I was on my own with the book, it really helped to know that I'd have my friend to check in with.
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